


初日の出 (hatsuhinode)

by fieryrondo



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Character Study, Gen, POV Second Person, Road to Pyeongchang, moodfic, prayerfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-12 14:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fieryrondo/pseuds/fieryrondo
Summary: Hatsuhinode(n.) the first sunrise of the year





	初日の出 (hatsuhinode)

**Author's Note:**

> A prayerfic written for the upcoming Pyeongchang Olympics.
> 
> Thank you to [SweetSalt](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetSalt/pseuds/SweetSalt), my stellar baeta for their patience and time in working with me to polish the draft. I think I’m feeling a little less scared to write moodfic now?? Thank you for being a great beta/friend/life coach/shoulder to lean on/cry on.
> 
> Please enjoy!

There are at least 22 places in Sendai with a good view of the sea, but only one in Toronto that you know of, and you only know of that one place because Gabby mentions it in passing to Javi. You almost miss the name of the place, because English had to be extra confusing in the way that words never seemed to spell the way they sounded. You decide learning English is a bit like doing a flip jump—with practice, you could attain some level of proficiency but it’s something that will never come to you naturally.

 

Like rising early. You’re proud you’ve never been late to a single practice in your life but you’re not a morning person and suspect you never will be. Your training menu is configured with this in mind, though Brian’s been pushing everyone to rise earlier and earlier, to get the bodies used to waking up before the crack of dawn. It’s good practice, in any case, and when your phone alarm goes off, you get out of bed and shuffle to turn it off without complaint.

 

By the time you get dressed, your mother’s already putting the finishing touches on today’s breakfast. Old habits die hard and it is a feast for four that she prepares. You don’t comment. Setting the table, you can hear the replay of last night’s _Kōhaku_ in the background _._ Your mother hasn’t missed a single episode since Nakai Masahiro started hosting, being a continent away was hardly going to change that. You wonder if Aragaki-san was part of the judging panel again this year but _Kōhaku_ never seemed to have the same judges twice.

 

After murmuring your thanks, you dig in. You take a cautious sip of the ladled soup, the heat of the broth goes straight to your bones. The flavor is a little different but still very much your mother’s. You stop when your teeth sink into something soft, crisp, and undeniably home.

 

“There is a very good fish market in Bayview,” your mother answers your silent question. Her lips curl impishly, like she’s barely hiding a secret. “It was challenging to find the leaves but banana works pretty well.”

 

No word can describe the gratitude you feel, so you say, “it’s good,” and leave it at that. Beaming from across the table, your mother is a force of nature.

 

You help her wash the bowls after the meal—finally, something you can do. Although your mother teases that you’re so slow at it, she’s used the extra time to brew tea. You parry back that you’re just being thorough. It’s a comfortable exchange. When you finish drying the last bowl to your satisfaction, your mother’s already left your gloves, scarf, and coat laid out on your bed.

 

You reach for a scarf only to drop it back down on the bed. Ah, you’ve almost forgotten. You ease into a stretch, first your calves, then your heels, enjoying the satisfying feel of your strengthening ankles. Soon, you think, but this is the one part that must not be hurried. You dutifully record your rehabilitation exercises in your notebook for later review before slipping into your boots.

 

A sky like black velvet strewn against stars greets you when you leave the apartment. Yesterday’s snow crunches under your boots. Your breath materializes in white wisps. Before you’ve realized it, your gloved fingers reach out to clasp hands with your mother. Her smile grows tender, and her fingers curl around yours.

 

“Aren’t you a bit too old for this, hmm?”

 

“It’s warmer this way,” you insist. Mindful of her smaller steps, you walk carefully towards the bus stop; snow doesn’t have to be deep to be dangerous.

 

At this hour, it’s not hard to find seating on a TTC bus. There is only one thermos between the two of you but tea tastes best when shared. The hot fragrance laps at your nostrils, coalescing in a column of steam. The city whisks by in flurries of steel and white. English signage flashes in a disorienting brocade and your mind catalogues them like a tourist. You’ve lived here for the greater part of six years, but this city is not yours and might never be. There’s too much of you that cries for your healing hometown.

 

After a time, the intercom announces the next stop, a name you’re not expecting. The thermos slips from your hand with a hollow clunk. You rush out the sliding doors, your mother calling after you. In your haste, you stumble when your boot sinks into a pile of shoveled snow. The bus stop sign confirms your suspicions: you’ve missed your stop.

 

You’ve never had the greatest sense of direction, but in Canada, you have never needed it. The magnitude of your ineptitude flummoxes you into silence.

 

“Always in such a rush.” Your mother catches up to you. You sheepishly peek at her from underneath your hood, your ears burning. You see your gloves dangling from her wrist, fingers clamped over the bottle you had dropped. On any other day, you’d protest back without hesitation. But today is the day of firsts and you don’t want your first conversation of the year to turn into an argument.

 

Still, there is a part of you, the childish petulance that refuses to settle or ‘make do’, that isn’t going to drop the matter without getting the last word.

 

“We’ll be late.”

 

“Then we’ll be late.” Unruffled. “It’s only a sunrise.”

 

“It’s not just a sunrise…”

 

 _Hatsuhinode_ is supposed to bring luck. You believe a man’s fate is wholly of his own making but given all that has happened in your life, surely a little fortune can’t hurt.

 

“Ahh, a hot coffee would be nice right now.” And without another word, your mother sets off at a brisk pace. You scramble after her, afraid to let her slip out of your sight. After all, your poor navigation sense had to come from someone…

 

Three left turns and two alleyways later, you happen upon a corridor of brightly lit vending machines. A familiar script from a machine in a lonely corner stops you in your tracks.

 

“A Japanese vending machine? In Toronto?”

 

“Is it really so surprising? Canada is a big place.” Your mother fishes in her purse for change.

 

Unbelievably, it even takes yen coins.

 

Coffee is not your preferred drink, but the pre-heated can nestles comfortably in your hand. You snap the beverage tab open and sip the smoky brew, letting the bittersweet taste of coffee wash over a nostalgic tongue. It brings a sting of moisture to your eyes. Your feet are planted firmly on Canadian soil, your heart thousands of miles away. Your father always takes his black. Your sister’s sweet tooth is worse than yours.

 

“We should come back,” you tell your mother after you finish the last drop. Her eyes crinkle knowingly, her laugh quiet and sweet.

 

Overhead, time softens the inky sky into light indigo. Wisps of rose colored clouds unspool in ripples and whorls. You set off for the bus route again with renewed resolve. Your mother tells you not to run, but you know if you hurry, you can still make it.

 

Four stops later and you arrive at the intended destination. There are no mountains in Toronto, but the overtop of Scarborough Crescent gives off a similar feeling. The park atop the hill is garbed in snow and cradled by the waters of Ontario. It’s too cold for squirrels but you spy a bird, some kind of warbler, sleepily hunkered down in a thicket. When you point it out, your mother laughs, “not every bird is a robin!” You follow the moist breeze towards a lake you’ve only seen in pictures, but find a fence and some vaguely threatening signage blocking your path.

 

You turn to your mother—she has already cupped her hands and kneeled down, ready to give you a boost. You grin; after being careful for so long, a little mischief tastes all the sweeter.

 

When you hop down from the fence, the sun chooses that moment to peek shyly from the horizon, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut. A second passes and you open them again, you could swear you hear an echo of temple bells ringing an ocean away.

 

Heaven meets earth. Light cuts through the last shroud of clouds, darkness unraveling in shimmers of red and gold. Wind whistles through the frosted forest. Branches shiver and snow speaks. Water at the foot of the bluffs churn shards of ice, hemming the shore in sleeves of glitter. Braver now, the sun climbs higher, painting the sky a bright blameless blue. The heavens are set aglow. Somewhere, unseen by human eyes, a bird begins to sing.

 

You close your eyes and soak in the first morning. At last, you’ve made it.

**Author's Note:**

> [1] _Kōhaku_ , short for _NHK Kōhaku Uta Gassen_ , is an annual music show on New Year’s Eve broadcast in Japan. The show invites the most popular music artists of the year, which compete in teams of red and white (female vocals and male vocals, respectively). The winning team is decided by the audience and a panel of judges, who are notable celebrities or public figures who have accomplished something noteworthy in the year. Yuzuru Hanyu and Yui Aragaki were judges for Kōhaku in 2015 and 2016 respectively, Yuzuru for his record-breaking SEIMEI, and Yui (aka “Koi Dance Lady”) for her leading acting role in _Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu_. Keen Yuzuru fans may note that Nobunari Oda has mentioned in an interview that Yuzuru considers Yui Aragaki “his type of girl”.
> 
> *Nakai Masahiro was the leader of SMAP, a very popular and successful boy band that debuted in 1991. He made his Kōhaku host debut in 1997.
> 
> [2] The soup Yuzuru has for breakfast is _o-zōni_ , a Japanese soup containing mochi that is traditionally eaten on New Year’s Day. It is an auspicious dish with ingredients and preparation that vary depending on region. The Miyagi variant features grilled square mochi, a soy sauce based broth made from dried goby (a type of fish), and _sasakamaboko_ , or bamboo leaf fish cake, a topping that is either steamed or roasted.
> 
> [3] Japanese New Year features the celebrations of many “first” activities of the year. It is believed that paying careful attention to these firsts and taking the time to fully appreciate them as they are, will bring good fortune in the new year. _Hatsuhinode_ , or the practice of welcoming the first sunrise of the new year, symbolizes hope and renewal.
> 
> [4] The Scarborough Bluffs, also known as The Bluffs, is a steep long cliff in the Scarborough district of Toronto. There are nine parks along the bluffs, including Scarborough Crescent Park. The Bluffs are known for their spectacular view of the Ontario waterline and gorgeous sunrise/sunset views.
> 
>  
> 
> **A personal prayer for Yuzu…**
> 
>  
> 
> I call this a prayerfic because it is indeed a bit of a prayer. This has been a very hard season for Yuzuru. He has repeatedly cited health as his number one priority going into the Olympics and despite the many precautions he and his team have taken to minimize the risks, with a single mislanded jump...all of the momentum he had was gone in a flash. He has missed all three opportunities to skate in Japan (NHK, GPF, and Nationals). He has also missed Four Continents, his last chance to test out his competitive readiness on an international stage before the Olympics. He will miss the Olympic Team event, making his individual short program the first time he will skate in competition since the Rostelecom Cup in October. He has spent three months in Toronto—perhaps the longest time he has been away from home—undergoing rehabilitation and recovery while his rivals have had the chance to gain momentum, take new titles, and simply gain more competition experience this season.
> 
> In less than two weeks, Yuzuru will face the deepest men’s field in history as defending champion. He will compete against healthier, younger competitors with higher BV potential as well as long-time rivals with strong motivation to end their competitive careers in the most memorable way possible.
> 
> Until now, time has been on his side, but will it be enough? I believe it will. I believe during these last three months, Yuzuru has made every single day count. He has the best team to back him and the best programs of his career thus far, programs he deeply loves and connects with. I pray that by the eleventh hour, he will have done everything he needs to attain the state of physical, mental and emotional readiness that will allow him to skate his programs to their fullest potential, in a way that leaves him completely and utterly satisfied. I pray he will leave no regrets in Pyeongchang. I pray he will leave Korea with a true, honest to god smile.
> 
> Fly high, Yuzu, and skate free!


End file.
